Learning as I go

[tested metal]

I had a talk with our friendly collection agency agent today and was told that no matter if we are divorced and had an agreement regarding payment of medical bills, I would still be responsible if W decided to shirk her responsibility of paying them.
The good news is that although I am legally obligated to make sure the medical bills are paid, she is the "primary person" on the account so she would only be hurting her credit and not mine.

I am probably going to have to notify the clinic to send all medical bills my way to make sure they are paid as I don't want to land in legal trouble and they won't be sent to collections.

Last night I had a very hard night. After finding out about the collection agency debacle, I got really restless and had to go out for the night. I realize that I was trying to distract myself from the impending loneliness that I was feeling. I really just wanted to make small talk with anyone (how sad).

Today after dropping off check to daycare and seeing daughter, I broke down and cried for 15 min. This week is W's week to have her for 4 out of the 7 days and I haven't see D for 3 days. I miss her greatly. I think the loss of this all is really starting to hit me, but I need to sit with it and work through it. Going out is only avoiding it and is not being productive because I am ending up drinking a lot and I don't want to develop a problem.

I thank you all for your support because you are all about all I got right now as friends and family are all miles away.