Val, please don’t feel as though you need to apologize for a post. Pour it out here, we’ll read. More than one person on this board has told me I need to feel the emotions to work through them. I still feel anger though not as much as I once did, and I have better coping mechanisms now. You do too!
I still hope my sitch will bust. I have no expectations it will before the decree becomes final in a few months. I’d like that, but if it doesn’t happen I’ll be ok too. Hoping for the outcome we want is normal. You’ve look inward and are changing what you’ve found needs change. I do not get a sense your W has done the same.
In my opinion speaking with an L to understand your rights and help you navigate the potential morass before you is wise. I cannot speak for CA, but in OH everything gets split pretty much down the middle unless otherwise agreed to. Having a third party filling out the paperwork and watching out for your interests takes a great deal of the emotional trauma out of the process. It frees you from focusing on it and they will obtain your agreement before submitting it.
You have not retaliated. You have tried to be as accepting and as loving about this as anyone could be. We all have been, are, or will be faced with decisions we will second guess in the future. As long as we keep those decisions within the limits of our core values we will be able to face ourselves about them.
It seems to me that Val should be at least as accepting and as loving to Val as she is to W if not more so.
Please use care with this email. Not only b/c you’re agreeing to sign the divorce papers, but for the reasons KD ask those questions. It is your call only you can decide. I suggest running it past the L you mentioned.
Love yourself (((((Val)))))
BITS Me 55, ACK, when did that happen? Doesn't feel like 55 D 30 S 27
You create your own universe as you go along - Winston Churchill
