I've been reconnecting with some friends. I've had my daughters the last two nights and I moved in into my new apartment. The first couple days I felt relief. The past couple have been really rough and seems to be getting harder.
The kids seem to remind me of their mom. I'm really missing her. I wish we. Luke work things out but she doesn't want to. Plus, I can't believe a thing she says so I'd never know if she was serious.
I guess it's going to take time.
I do see how I could get caught up in a rebound relationship. I have urges and I would love to blow off some steam. I almost think that being with other women would help take the edge off of the pain. After all, she's doing it...if I did the same thing then I'd feel better.
I don't believe that though. I'm lonely, hurt and vulnerable right now. The last thing I need is to hook up with some women. Yes, she's hooking up with guys (girls?)...who knows. But that doesnt make it right. I have to be strong for the kids. They know mom is dating and it really hurts them. I can't do that to them.
