Good morning, JB! I think in a former thread you and I touched on the subject of your rock star ability to GAL and the possibility that it makes your wife feel stressed and/or frustrated. I also believe you have mentioned that your wife has some self esteem issues. The thing is, you are your very best JB when you GAL, and being your best is a large part of what DB is about. You choose healthy (in mind, body and spirit) ways to GAL, so there is nothing wrong with that! Perhaps if your wife decides to give your marriage another shot, the two of you can find ways to GAL together (that she feels comfortable with and confident about) as well as continue to GAL on your own at times (does that make sense?).
Thanks ncl! Yes, it makes a lot of sense. You're right and thanks for reminding me. When I think back, I did most of the GAL'ing in terms of getting exercise while my W was sleeping, so that was fairly transparent to her anyway. That's the part that would appeal to her the least. The other things that I've done as far as the mission trips, the VBS at church, getting involved with the Student Ministries, the fun things I've done with my S, etc. - I could see as being very appealing to her. As a matter of fact, I think these activities have really thrown her off. They're also the changes I absolutely want to retain. I feel like I've made a lot of healthy new friendships as a result.
Originally Posted By: ncl
With regard to your son texting your wife...I know how bothersome this can be. When my husband and I were separated, I sometimes felt irritated when he'd text the kids at a time that he knew we were super busy or spending quality time together. And too, sometimes I just resented that he was contacting them during "my" time. However...I had to think about what was best for the kids, and as long as their texting with him didn't interfere with something of importance (dinner, homework time, reading/snuggling time before bed, etc), then I needed to allow them to chat with their dad. If it was during a busy time, I'd just tell them to let him know they would be back in contact when things slowed down, and that was never a problem.
I think sometimes I fall into a trap of it being a parental competition. When I fall into this trap, I'm not in the best place. It's much better to stay out of that trap. I think I got a little closer to the bottom of this last night. My S was saying he felt like he gets to see me a lot more. That's a fact, too. I have him on 3 school nights and every other weekend. So it's really like 57/43 custody instead of 50/50. On top of that I see him every day before and after school and I try to go in for lunch at his school once a week.
