Here's what I'm asking from the forum: W told me you have changed but so have I, I don't know the new you. My response: why don't we take some time to get to know each other. That inevitably leads to her saying that she doesn't trust me and doesn't trust that I won't return to my old ways and that she is very angry that it took her filing for D/so long to make changes. IMO, then why doesn't she just tell me that there is no chance for us? (B/c she is still wrestling with it?) Does anyone have any suggestion of what I should be/should not be saying to my W? Thanks. I feel like I'm in limbo.
James- I don't have advice to give you as I'm in the same boat as you, except that H hasn't filed for D yet. But he's been saying the same things to me: H doesn't trust me, I will return to my old ways, it took so long for me to realize things, etc." Except, my H actually did tell me that "there is no chance for us" and that "we're incompatible, don't know each other anymore, etc."
The only thing that I can say is what I've been told: "Don't believe anything they say and only half of what they do". It seems that your W is still confused and angry. As long as she's angry, she MUST care about you.
Sorry to hear about the hold on your promotion. Do you think your W is upset because she was hoping for a bigger share of your $$? Or more about you telling your boss, which makes her look like the "bad person"? Because you know, the WAS/WAW is NEVER at fault and is the victim here.
Keep making the changes, but make them for yourself, and be consistent!
