Update: Bad news, Boss told me promotion is on hold while D is pending. Boss said promotion requires a retraining course and an employee going through a D is too distracted to focus on new work. He was very cool about it and left the door open--not sure if he is going to fill the position. W is very upset about this development and upset at me for telling the boss about the D. (She says it represents another failure on my part.) W had told me a few days ago that she is VERY ANGRY at me for my past failure to take care of her financially and that she thought I would be a better provider when we got M and that the promotion was a step in the direction of establishing those things. I asked her if getting new work was a condition to reconciliation and she said no.
Recent backslide: W has been telling me for a few weeks that she is "thinking about things." Wasn't sure what that meant so I finally asked if one of those things included reconciliation and W said "everything" rather than "yes," which I find a strange, non-commital response.
Here's what I'm asking from the forum: W told me you have changed but so have I, I don't know the new you. My response: why don't we take some time to get to know each other. That inevitably leads to her saying that she doesn't trust me and doesn't trust that I won't return to my old ways and that she is very angry that it took her filing for D/so long to make changes. IMO, then why doesn't she just tell me that there is no chance for us? (B/c she is still wrestling with it?) Does anyone have any suggestion of what I should be/should not be saying to my W? Thanks. I feel like I'm in limbo.
