Things are just falling into place for my H and I. We're both through with walking on egg shells. My H is finding it much easier to express himself, especially, when he doesn't agree with something, and like me, he's learned to do it in a constructive and respectful way.
I think we've both learned that passive/aggressive behavior and resentment was a rather cowardly method we used to deal with issues we didn't have the courage to discuss like mature adults. My H is more apt to ask if I "mind that he does something" and I do the same as well.
I think we've learned to be far more respectful of each other's differences and instead of hiding them for fear of angering each other, we're now saying what we want/need, the level of 'honesty' between us has risen tremendously.
My H and I are very comfortable again. I can hardly believe how far we've come. My 'nightmare' started in June of 2002...he's been back home "for good" since late Sept./first week in Oct of 2003, but we really didn't start to get 'normal' until February...now with each passing week we are settling back in to a 'safe' and 'normal' life.
I think we've learned to really 'like' each other again. We've learned to respect each other again and to NOT take each other for granted.
Amazing at it might seem, my H's 2 As have become meaningless to me. I can honestly see them now, as the salve he used for his emotional pain. I no longer take them 'personally' (if you can understand what I mean).
I would never have believed in the summer of 2002, that my life would ever be settled again...and yet, here I am...well on my way to "normal."
I know that my H is grateful that I did not abandon him while he went through his own hell, I can see and feel that gratitude through his interaction with me if not his words.
I'd like to believe that my life would have been better had none of this ever happened to me...(us)....and yet the truth is, it wouldn't have been better because we had BOTH stopped loving each other and this HELL woke us both up to what we had destroyed by our apathy towards each other. I don't think we'll ever make the same mistakes again. T2
