I wish I had more to say but it sounds like you are in a terific mental state and really understand what it is going to take to make your M work. I especially like the way you are so candid when expressing what you want from your H as well as things that bother you. These are signs that the "eggshell" days are over. You can not have a solid relationship with anyone who requires that you constantly filter what you are going to say. I think that my W and I both walked on eggshells for the past several years rather than having honest communication. Eventually, the frustration and resentments get to be too much to deal with and someone walks.
I like all your stated goals and your approach to things. Your H sounds like he is doing all the right things as well. Granted, I am sure things are not perfect, but that is an unrealistic standard anyway. I think it comes down to realizing that as individuals, you are both different and have unique requirements. As I have read on the boards, if you respect these differences and react to them in a loving way, you in turn will recieve more of what you need in a R. It is when we try and mold another person into what we want them to be that we run into trouble. Anyway...thanks so much for your great words of wisdom about my sitch. I will visit again soon.
