Outside the Scope of This Report

[WenikiTiki]

Well well well. You know, I certainly looked back over my 26 years with my ex and wondered, were there more affairs that I didn't know about? I'll never know now - but def some suspicions.

In the end, I think you do have to ask yourself - what would it take, if he comes back to the relationship, for you to feel entirely secure?

In my case - when my ex finally left - I realized that there really wasn't ANYTHING he could do at that point, that would ever make me feel safe with him again. After two affairs, two reconciliations, and him leaving without really trying at the end - I realized I would always be looking over my shoulder if we reconciled again. And I didn't want that.

Thanks KML,

I did speak to him last night about his intentions. I told him that for me to be the default one he got stuck with wasn't going to work for me. I told him I realized that although we have had sex all along, he quit kissing me, holding hands, sitting by me about 14 years ago.

I made it plain to him that I feel like it is going to take a lot to repair our relationship. And most importantly what I didn't know if he would ever be someone I could trust.

We were awake and talking because our neighbor across the street spent about 45 minutes outside last night afet 11pm yelling at his dogs. What a nut! Because I had planned no talk last night. But H kept starting it up.

So on the positive side. He holds me for hours in the mornings. he doesn't want to let go. It seems funny. I'm enjoying it, because I think of it as a baby step back to where we need to be.

I have some reading to do. I need to figure out what direction to take with him and this.

Thanks to all for the comments. Speaking truely to the situation.