Ahhh, isn't it nice when the WAS tries to play games with your mind? This is what happens when you keep your distance...
- H offered me a shot of Patron when he got home. He hasn't "offered" me any kind of drink in the last few months. - I was sitting on the floor playing with S4, H actually sat down close to me, maybe a foot or so away, and not try to sit far away. - H has a presentation at work today and asked my opinion on what tie would go best with the shirt he picked out. He didn't pick the one I suggested. Oh well. - I had to jump on a conference call in the evening and asked H to put S4 to bed, which he did without any issues. - I stayed in the bedroom and read after the conference call. H had a late soccer game. When H came home, H decided to sleep in bed! I thought those days were over. H actually woke me up and jokingly said "you're being a bed piggy" because I was sleeping in the middle. We used to say that to each other a long time ago. I moved over, but had a hard time falling asleep again. - This morning he asked me if I could iron his shirt. Then, when he got all dressed up, he asked me how he looked.
I know better than to read into any of it, but it makes me laugh and shake my head. So here I am, still cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, ironing and doing other things for him. While I'm trying to be "friendly" with him, I am actually quite happy about not reacting to the little things, even if for a few seconds it almost seemed "normal". Well, minus the smiling, kissing, or hugging.
Interesting...and confusing at the same time. I am glad you are not having expectations but simply enjoying the little things. It actually sounds like a nice evening for both of you.
Confusing indeed! But as I said before, I'm just shrugging this off. I do strongly believe that H is going through a MLC, and I believe one of the things I've read said that the H (or W) will do an occasional "temp check", to make sure that they still have you to fall back on, especially since they're going through so much confusion.
If you haven't read the "Midlife Crisis for Dummies" in MLC section already, you may find it "funny", in a sad kind of way...I enjoyed it and could see H in all of that.
I actually laughed.... then cried a little. Glad to know my H is going "by the book" through a MLC!!
nhmom- You handled yourself very well considering the massive amount of confusion you probably experienced with H. I HATE it when they act like everything is 'normal' and expect you to follow along and even try to make you feel good.... inevitably they will remind you that nothing has changed and you will go back to feeling like cr@p.
I think Six Flags should create a MLC roller coaster- The highest drops and scariest loops and u-turns known to man!!
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
Thanks for that link nhmom. I got a chuckle out of it but I too can say that the majority of that does apply to my W and it kind of puts things in perspective.
M 44 W 43 S 23 S 15 INILWY 9/11 Divorce Mediation started 3/13 June 30 the day W is moving out
Zero expectations. Always a good call! So when they are being "normal" it's always a nice surprise!
Easier said than done on the zero expectations! First of all you're not supposed to believe any of what they say. Okay, that helps when they are saying awful things, but what about when they say something that's positive and hopeful (like the way NH's H was being here)? And then we're not supposed to mind read. So basically, we shouldn't believe what we hear or read anything into what they say or do. Maybe I missed the point all along but when they say detach I guess you really have to go all the way, "as if" you're alone and oh so happy about it (note the angry sarcasm here!).
Does this mean you move them out of your emotions, and then someday when they make it clear they want back in the M, you then and only then let them back into you emotionally?
To really detach its like jumping off a moving roller coaster at 90 mph!
