But I had to stop in here and jot down something huge that came to me this morning.
As I was thinking over my obsession about OW this morning, it finally hit me...... his EA is NOT about her. It's about HIM and our MARRIAGE!!!!!! Something went wrong of course, with US.... and I'm seeing that OW (I should just call her EX OW) really was just the symptom for the problems.
Once I finally got this in my head and in my heart.... I also realize that I need to stop focusing on EX OW, and put it back on our marriage.
Yes I am still angry at him and EX OW, but in the past week my anger has lessened in comparison to boiling level anger. I'm really happy about that too.
I need to keep this mantra in my head going.... time to stop blaming.
And I probably need to just stop feeling sorry for myself.
Angel I haven't had a chance to read the book..... we ordered 5 love languages and haven't had time to read it yet with all of the stuff going on.
Good thing is, H and I are having a lot of open talks about our R and where we both feel problems set in. We both making time for us, with spending evenings after D goes to bed, cuddling, talking, watching a movie, whatever we can do.... and I feel like our M has been getting closer than it has been in a long time.
I feel him actively working on our M and seeing it.... and it inspires me to give back and work on our M with as much energy as his. We kind of meet each other in the middle, and there's this electric charge between us again.
I'm also happy to say that EX OW has privatized her blog and facebook .... which keeps me from bothering to look. Maybe this is just what I needed to help me move on. I can't say I'm still not curious about her or what she's up to... but it's getting better.... much better.
25, it's not gimmicky to me. I'll stand right up and say I know God had a huge part in helping me last summer... and helping my H turn around and come back to our M. I give Him the glory for that. My prayers were answered.. I just don't want to screw it all up.
Bath time really is a great way to offer it all up.... and the most peaceful time of the day.
Angel, I'm practicing some detachment again and it is helping too. Not too much detaching, but a little. I think it calms the anxiety somewhat.
Kind of been feeling lost in the dark the past month or so.. emotionally speaking.... but I'm starting to feel like I'm seeing a little light peeking in.
