I could not agree more some slaps you or punches you you know, they are angry, what just happened, and its over quickly.
Passive Aggressive abuse is, very, very nasty mental abuse. The with-holding of intimacy in a marriage sometimes feels like sexual abuse (I am in no comparing it to actual physical sexual abuse). And it seems to continuous and difficult to escape from.
It took me over 20 years to identify what was happening to me.
There are no support groups for this that I know of for the abused, firstly may not recognize they are being abused and it is hard to prove. It can be soul-destroying.