They are pretty unbelievable aren't they, for supposedly grown men. Mine had a spew about it on New Year's day, and then I waited nearly two weeks and sent a firm clear proposal which he basically agreed to [with a few tweaks of course] Now it is back to struggling, in his mind. I am just not getting involved. I do not think they are narcisstic fwiw, but I think PAs display that type of behaviour when stressed. And MLC often seems to be a response to extreme stress of one kind or another.
I struggled for a long time with people telling me he was a narcissist but it never felt right, not because I didn't want to believe it, but mainly because he was capable of building and sustaining relationships for long periods of time, something that real narcissists are usually considered not able to do. Whereas PA types can sustain relationships, of a sort.
on the subject of timing, a couple of years back, my xh waited several months to have another spew at me until two days before I went into hospital for major surgery . The timing was not a coincidence but I didn't handle it well as I was pretty stressed. However I wrote him an angry letter on that occasoin, telling him that what he had just done was unbelievable. And I didn't then hear until the day of our final divorce hearing when he rang up and invited me for lunch!! I declined very civilly.
My lawyer, who has been doing divorce work for over thirty years said she had never encountered anyone like my xh.
