Advice Need.....What Should I do?

[25yearsmlc]

The letter sounds resolute, but most do.

hey, whether it's too late or not is not for us to know. I doubt SHE knows.

I said things in 2005/06 that I really believed, and some I didn't. But I don't believe most of it NOW.

Nothing is written in stone.

The thing is, your course of action happens to be the same regardless...

YOU MUST DETACH and make sure that she sees or hears of a happy upbeat YOU

in a detached way.

So give her something to miss, not a sad needy man and not a cold clueless jerk

but a strong loving man, with a future, who brings a lot to the table as a partner...

let her BELIEVE you are this way and now some other woman will benefit by your changes (and her long suffering "work")

I think at some level it has to bug her.

You don't control that but you CAN DETACH and you must detach in order to move forward

or reconcile. Please "get" that.

here's a short piece on detaching...

"This was originally posted by Peanut.
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II. Detachment
Detachment is critical to the process of altering and repairing a relationship.

Attached, we take personally all that is said, not said, done and not done. Our ego gets wounded, and we say or do things that undermine our goals.

We can NOT control the actions of another. We are, however, responsible for our own actions. We are responsible for our own happiness.

If we are detached from the actions of another, we can meet anger or indifference with love. Met with love, we are in a position to diffuse the situation and transform it in a way that will be in alignment with our goals.

On the flipside, detachment allows us to play it cool when we do get a positive reaction from our spouse. It is a way to break the distance/pursuer cycle.

Detachment is not withdrawal. It is not the mind saying, ‘I am not getting what I want so I must pull back.’

It is the natural acceptance that I alone am responsible for how I act. I cannot control another person, but I can control how I respond to them."