Purg, I applaud you for setting boundaries! As hard as it seems, your H needs to start seeing the consequences of his decision. H needs to see that his plan is not as perfect as it might seem in his head. The cake eating needs to stop!
Btw, you did amazing staying composed! I have moments where I just want to speak my mind, then take a deep breath and think "DB".
Can we start taking turns kicking our WAS's? Maybe one of us will be able to knock some sense into them?