I feel like he's getting closer to moving out. If he needs to really leave the house and be "by himself" to realize that it won't bring him happiness, then so be it. I told him that I don't want him to go, but I'm not going to keep him from going either. He needs to make that decision himself.
I think him moving out will be the best thing for your situation and it looks like you have accepted that its likely. I was devastated when this happened to me but I think many WAS need to be away to get some space and sort through their confusion. It suc*s but necessary in many cases.
I think you have handled things very well and also think that you need to be strong and enforce the boundaries you set.
You are handling yourself very well, by telling him that it is not what you want but you won't stop him. He will own this decision and can't blame you later. I am hoping that with some distance he will see things with more clarity. Sadly some need to learn things the hard way.
Wanted to chime in with my support. You're doing a great job keeping it together and being a great parent -- keep it up!
My W's friend has a difficult H, and they were driving back from a restaurant and their 7 year-old told H "Mommy's unlucky to be married to you!" No fun when kids catch wind of the marital strife.
WRT movies, be careful! I've had some really bad "trigger" episodes with movies lately. My W went out and saw "Crazy Stupid Love" when we just started piecing (which I thought was a bit heartless), and we just saw "The Descendents" -- watching George Clooney break down after learning of his W's affair killed me, I was ready to walk out.
Movies can be a great escape / release, but you might want to re-think "The Vow", may hit a little too close to home.
Keep up the DB, you're doing great!
Accuray
Married 18, Together 20, Now Divorced M: 48, W: 50, D: 18, S: 16, D: 12 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 7/13/11 Start Reconcile: 8/15/11 Bomb Dropped (EA, D): 5/1/2014 (Divorced) In a New Relationship: 3/2015
You are a braver woman than I if you go see "the vow"... I've avoided ALL movies that have any kind of emotional triggers (romance, death, kids, lost love..) I prefer the action and suspense movies right now- although I did get an unpleasant surprise when I saw "contraband" (it's a drug movie, so what could it have possibly done to me?!) Well, the main characters (husband and wife) are named mine and h's name & they have 2 little blonde boys.... people were probably wondering why I was crying in an action movie!!
As far as V-day is concerned... YES! dreading it!!! In fact, I'm really glad that my trip overlaps v-day, so I won't even be in the same state as him!! bklyn- had a great idea- a massage!! Or maybe a mani/pedi... I agree that we should all do something to make ourselves feel good that day!!
You are doing wonderful things for yourself and your son! It's good that you are able to start detaching yourself from his crisis, because you don't want to take the chance of him taking your down with him.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
I've avoided ALL movies that have any kind of emotional triggers (romance, death, kids, lost love..) I prefer the action and suspense movies right now- although I did get an unpleasant surprise when I saw "contraband" (it's a drug movie, so what could it have possibly done to me?!) Well, the main characters (husband and wife) are named mine and h's name & they have 2 little blonde boys.... people were probably wondering why I was crying in an action movie!!
You really are in purgatory...can't even escape at the movies!
On second thought, maybe going to see "The Vow" is not the best idea, at least not in public. Accuray, you're right...it would hit too close to home. Some days, though, I feel like watching a movie that would make me cry. I feel like sometimes I try so hard to fight tears and suppress my emotions that a movie would help me release all of that.
H and I did watch "Crazy Stupid Love". He picked it. And he made a few comments throughout the movie that hurt, he was trying to relate to the MLC wife, I think.
BklynMom - a massage sounds great! I've been thinking about getting one for a few weeks now. I could REALLY use it. I did some yoga after work today, that help release some of the tension, but a massage would be incredible right about now.
I watched that movie the other night- alone in my own living room.... good thing too because there were a few cry sessions.
The movie ends with an unknown resolution... kinda p!ssed me off.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
