My original poet was really designed to help people stay detached by recognizing just how how (covertly) abusive the relationship with the PA is.
All the advice here about dealing with MLC is also dead on for PA and vice-versa.
Stay detached - minimal contact is good for YPO, any contact will enable a PA behavior. No I love yous etc never, never, appear needy. And you don't need to be abused! Do not appear desperate for them to return. Do not initiate relationship talk - enables PA behaviors.
If you have been subject to PA behavior just remember how mentally abusive it has been? Do you really want to be in a relationship with someone like that? Or do you hope they will change?
The change must come from within them, this is a journey they must make alone. Do not try to get in there and fix things you can't. Detach, detach detach, remember the abuse.
The PA binds them self closer to you than they care to admit. They will say things that wound and hurt to reject you but not take physical action. Actions speak louder than words. If they are not with an OP then chances are they are desperate for a victim for their PA. That is you. They need you but must deny it.
If you wanted a Divorce you would go for it wouldn't you? look at the illogicality I want a divorce but I am taking no action to do it! Do not help them if it was what they wanted it would be done by now. they want a divorce fine: 'I am sorry you feel that way'. End it there do not enable your own abuse by further discussion or helping them.
PA/MLC behavior is crazy making do not let it get to you. Detach, detach, detach.
Get a life, remember the abuse, feel happy to be free from it. Show them how good you feel about life, you don't need all this heartache. Detach. detach. detach.
Remember how you used to be optimistic and happy in your youth, looking forward to a great life. Do it now, you still have a lot of life ahead of you. Try listening to the music you enjoyed before you met your PA. Reconnect with any positive feelings about life you had then. Look after your own happiness no one else will. Detach, detach,, detach.
Be unavailable to them, do not go running if they try establish contact. Remember any contact is generally designed to show rejection (deny their dependency), and make you feel worse. If they actually ask for help in something positive be supportive.
Do not believe anything they say. They are experts at deviousness, lies and deception. Again actions speak louder than words.
Spend time with your children family and friends stay away from your abuser.
This goes back before you even met this person. You were not put on this planet to fix them this is NOT your problem to fix and you cannot fix it. Stay silent just listen, do not enter the PA battlefield, the PA must win no matter the cost, even to themselves.
You have no control over anybody's thoughts or actions except your own.
Do not feel responsible you are not to blame for any of this.
With time they will either change or they won't. If they change they will either come back or they won't. Be patient (enjoy the break from the crazy-making abuse) or move on, the choice is yours.
You have this power over your own life, you are the master of your fate, the captain of your soul.
