Let me add a divorced person's view on this. I DB'ed like crazy when my ex dropped the bomb. A few months after it was over, I realized that it wasn't her I was fighting for, it was the idea of what we were. She had changed so much that it would have never worked. So look at where BOTH of you are right now. Is your spouse the person you want or have they morphed into somebody you don't know. You really need to figure this out first.
Another thing that I realized (especially after reading several other people's sitch's) is that some spouses are extremely selfish when they want out/change into an alien. They say just enough to you to give you hope but do what they want and ask for more from you. Be very carefull about this. You want it to work out so much that you end up doing things you might not have done. For me, it was giving money and possesions.
