My Sitch/any better ideas than going dark?

[Broken74]

Thanks Barely, I appreciate your feedback and kind words.

I think I am hitting my first LRT low point... Today I am of the thought process why am I even putting myself through this/why bother. I had my physical today I am 37 and my blood pressure is off the charts compared to last year, same weight and physical condition so I wonder what the catalyst is...

The more I don't communicate with her the more that I can process the true ridiculousness of this situation. I love this woman and my stepchildren with all of my heart, but she has ripped me to shreds over the past 5 months... I don't know if I'm going to have it in me to keep going on when I get absolutely nothing back from her.

I cannot fathom what is going through her mind. And when I think about it all that it does is frustrate me to the nth degree. The whacky thing I was thinking about today is that she has rarely if ever has used the word divorce. Another tidbit that gives me false "hope"...

Today I don't even know if I want any hope, it would be so much easier just to say to heck with it. There are plenty of women who would love to value me for me without having to go through all of this emotional turmoil and nonsense.

A lot of thinking to do these days... :-(

Good luck to all in your respective sitch's!