I am very open with my H about MY expectations. I don't hold anything back. I say whatever I have to say without anger, accusation etc...I state my needs directly and calmly.
I'm a million miles away from where I was less than six months ago. I promised myself for New Years that I was through walking on egg shells. That I was no longer going to sacrifice my dignity or self esteem to have my H back in my life. With every passing month I've grown stronger, my self esteem has climbed back to what it use to be and I have (for the first time in all these years) separated 'me from him'...in that I see MY LIFE as my life with him simply as a PART of it NOT all of it.
This has been a long and painful two years but I am healthy emotionally today, I see what I NEED and I refuse to settle for less than I deserve.
My H knows this, it's no secret. My H has returned to the guy he once was...he knows that there are things that he must do...I am giving him a reasonable amt. of time to do those things...but he knows, that if fear or guilt or whatever keep him from doing what I've asked that he will will no longer be welcome in my life.
My H has recently told me that he is doing the best he can for now...he meant it in a good way...he is working his way towards feeling 'safe' enough to do what he's been asked. He is afraid because he KNOWS what he will loose, he's not lost in a fog anymore and he doesn't want to loose me...and that is what he's most afraid of now. T2
