I know... Ironically enough it wasn't intended to trigger guilt. I don't want to post the whole text convo, but essentially I was trying to say that I hadn't told S that she was or wasn't coming. So he wasn't going to be heartbroken because he was counting on her and now she wasn't coming. But that's not how it came off entirely I don't think.
That's a pretty taut rope to walk. Almost a razor's edge really...
One of the best sayings I heard here about the relationships between the WAS and children, was something GraceO said..
It is not your job to facilitate their relationship, it is your job to NOT damage their relationship
It is absolutely normal to want to do that. We tend to get out our natural Papa Bear instincs. We want to protect them , and keep them from feeling hurt.
Just keep in mind how easily the WAS feels attacked. They feel as though we are judging them and their choices....constantly.
We are acting rationally, and they are acting on emotion.
