Too Little, Too Late...part 5

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Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5 purgatory #2217421 01/31/12 12:55 PM
Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 301 O Oneeleven Member
Oneeleven Member O Joined: Dec 2011 Posts: 301	Originally Posted By: purgatory I love all my friends on here You know how to make a girl feel good! I was thinking about something a spiritual advisor told me once (and maybe I've said this on here a LONG time ago). The idea is this: When you meet some one and start to fall in love, you are presenting a certain version of you. You should make sure that that version is authentic and genuine. Because when you choose to get married, if you drastically change the person that they fell in love with, the other spouse will feel as if they've been tricked. Now this is not saying that people shouldn't grow and change based on mutual/individual experiences, but the core person should be the same. And it can even be as simple as things that you always do for each other, for example: If you (as a woman) always wore makeup or dressed nice every time you went out with your spouse during dating.... than you should continue to do those things after marriage. Ok, I'm not saying this because I agree with it entirely, but I do understand the essence of it. I've realized that I changed who I was almost the instant that he put the ring on my finger. I think in my mind I told myself: "Hey, I got him. I don't have to impress anymore" and I became lazy in my appearance and attitude towards him. Boy, do I regret that. (and maybe I'm not the only one here who fell victim to 'marriage comfort') But I've come to this ^^^^ realization after my DB efforts over the past 2 months. I really LIKE doing my hair and makeup, and putting on nice clothes daily. I have noticed that I carry myself better AND I have a better attitude... it might seem superficial that a little makeup could cause such a dramatic turn around- oh-well. I like the way H looks at me now (even when he doesn't think I see it)... I feel like my DB efforts are not changing me, only bringing back the woman that has been hiding behind baggy shirts and low self-esteem...lightbulb moment!.... the woman he fell in love with!!! Why couldn't I have figured this out 3 years ago, when it would have kept my M together. Its a super interesting point but it can be a sword that cuts both ways. When P met me I was a super fashionista who dressed to the nines every day. Skimped on food for a couple of weeks to save up for a pair of designer shoes, always had perfect nails, hair and accessories, you get the drill. Well P is a 'nature dude'. Likes fishing and camping, and that sort of thing. I liked that stuff, but it wasn't part of my daily 'downtown' girl lifestyle. But when we got together I started doing it more and started buying say... hiking boots (designer of course! LOL) instead of ANOTHER pair of black stilettos.. I liked the changes and I felt like focusing on some of these new activities made me a more well-rounded person. BUT: after we 'settled in' with one another he started griping when I would want to put on a little make up and a coordinated outfit to say... go grocery shopping. For a while it was a bit of a battle. Then I sat him down and explained... the girl you fell in love with was a super-fashioista. I'm not going to lose myself completely to fit your lifestyle, but I will adjust so that we can mesh together. Besides, I told him... don't you like the fact that I look pretty and that I take the time to care what I look like for not only myself but you every day? You could see the wheels churn in his head and he completely understood. Sorry, my point doesn't have all that much to do with yours, I just felt like sharing

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Subject	Posted By	Posted
Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/29/12 03:06 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	ces67	01/29/12 04:26 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/29/12 01:19 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	ces67	01/29/12 02:26 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/29/12 04:38 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	sayitaintso	01/29/12 04:45 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	25yearsmlc	01/29/12 05:20 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	25yearsmlc	01/29/12 05:30 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/29/12 06:18 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	RoRoinMD	01/29/12 06:26 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	25yearsmlc	01/29/12 05:02 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	ces67	01/29/12 08:20 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/29/12 09:08 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Jenna333	01/29/12 10:55 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/30/12 03:47 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	25yearsmlc	01/30/12 04:29 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Grmpy_Mnky	01/30/12 04:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/30/12 04:55 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	kolja	01/30/12 05:36 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	keep_going	01/30/12 05:49 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/30/12 09:05 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	keep_going	01/30/12 09:25 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/30/12 09:49 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	labug	01/30/12 09:50 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	nhmom	01/30/12 10:23 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BFloat	01/31/12 03:28 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/31/12 03:51 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Jenna333	01/31/12 03:58 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Oneeleven	01/31/12 12:55 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/31/12 08:32 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	PERSEVERANCE	01/31/12 04:34 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/31/12 08:50 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/31/12 09:01 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	mr mr	01/31/12 09:12 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	labug	01/31/12 09:13 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	kml	01/31/12 09:20 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	labug	01/31/12 09:21 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	mr mr	01/31/12 09:47 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/31/12 10:09 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	RoRoinMD	01/31/12 10:13 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	ces67	01/31/12 10:27 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/31/12 11:32 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BFloat	02/01/12 12:23 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BklynMom	02/01/12 12:28 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/01/12 12:49 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	nhmom	02/01/12 01:41 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	sayitaintso	02/01/12 02:14 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BklynMom	02/01/12 03:24 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Oneeleven	02/01/12 04:52 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Jenna333	02/01/12 06:48 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/02/12 01:36 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	NLW	02/02/12 01:56 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	25yearsmlc	02/02/12 02:18 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/02/12 03:34 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	25yearsmlc	02/02/12 03:39 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BFloat	02/02/12 07:40 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	NLW	02/02/12 08:16 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	WenikiTiki	02/02/12 12:01 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Oneeleven	02/02/12 12:41 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/02/12 02:05 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	sayitaintso	02/02/12 02:14 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/02/12 05:17 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	ces67	02/02/12 05:28 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Oneeleven	02/02/12 05:36 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	31nheartbroken	02/03/12 01:28 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	nhmom	02/03/12 02:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/03/12 03:08 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BklynMom	02/03/12 03:56 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/03/12 04:27 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/03/12 04:54 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	2thepoint	02/03/12 05:12 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BFloat	02/03/12 06:23 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Oneeleven	02/03/12 12:53 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/03/12 04:35 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	ces67	02/03/12 05:04 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	WenikiTiki	02/03/12 05:33 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	2thepoint	02/03/12 05:21 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	rickb89	02/03/12 07:56 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BFloat	02/03/12 09:43 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/04/12 12:09 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	ces67	02/04/12 12:22 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	labug	02/04/12 12:27 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	labug	02/04/12 12:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Oneeleven	02/04/12 12:49 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	keep_going	02/04/12 12:52 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	nhmom	02/04/12 01:59 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	sayitaintso	02/04/12 02:08 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/04/12 02:49 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BFloat	02/04/12 03:06 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	rickb89	02/04/12 04:13 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/04/12 11:19 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Jenna333	02/05/12 03:52 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/05/12 05:11 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BFloat	02/05/12 07:54 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	02/05/12 06:21 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	kolja	02/05/12 07:14 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	BklynMom	02/05/12 08:23 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	Jenna333	02/05/12 08:59 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	nhmom	02/07/12 03:03 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	labug	02/07/12 04:13 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	NLW	02/04/12 12:31 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	31nheartbroken	02/01/12 01:16 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	RoRoinMD	01/31/12 09:22 PM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	sayitaintso	01/29/12 05:06 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	25yearsmlc	01/29/12 06:02 AM
Re: Too Little, Too Late...part 5	purgatory	01/29/12 01:13 PM

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