I am going through the exact same thing. I feel your pain. My W as well had everything going for her in life with me. I was good to her. She has personal issues as well. She left me 4 months ago and yesterday she says she is loving life on her own and wants a dissolution. Her family will be devastated just as much as I am. Reading your post sounds like we are M to the same person. I feel you. I've put in countless hours of work and she has taken notice but just isnt interested either. I hope things work out for you.
Sorry to hear you're going through something similar, MissingMyFamily. I hope things work out for you too.
In my case, all I can figure is that my wife saw me as a "nice guy", which is not a good thing. Read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy!" and you'll see what I mean. I was way too dependent on my marriage and my wife for my needs and all of my energy was focused on making the marriage work (sound familiar?). I most definitely lost myself in this marriage.
Now I'm at a point where my wife is happy to be independent and single, she is a driving force in the community and her work, and seems so happy to have disposed of me. At least that's what if feels like. She says it is not easy for her either, but I'll have to take her work on that. I miss her very much and still love her dearly, but I am at the point where I resent her for bailing on our marriage without at least our having a chance to meet with a marriage counselor who would help guide us through the fog, as I call it. In my opinion, she took the easy way out, but then again... she has told me "you' keep forgetting (or ignoring) that I'm not in love with you".
She moves into her apartment this week and I am putting the house up for sale on the weekend. This is a very sad and surreal experience.
She has said she needs time and space to work on her issues, which I've read is "womanese" for "looking for a replacement". She needs time to figure out if we've grown apart, fallen out of love or if we've just gotten lost in the fog. When I asked her directly to tell me if it was over and to not play games, she keeps saying she needs time. That is rough... part of me hopes for reconciliation. Part of me feels I could never trust her emotionally ever again. We had a great summer where everything was back... the intimacy, sex, affection, communication, fun. In my mind we were better than ever, but in hers... she was just "trying" and "faking it until she could make it". Seems I have married an actor.
In any case, I have good moments and bad, and there have been some very dark ones indeed (I would never harm her, to be clear). There are days when I know I'll be ok, others where I don't know how I can go on. It's maddening.
