I think the topic of dating has been covered well enough.
But the idea of you taking your wife back stuns me. AS SHE IS NOW,
how can you even consider it?
I strongly urge you to seek out and or continue in your counselling. Surely by now, you see her vicious & erratic behavior. The contempt with which she speaks to you, only to be followed by baking cookies, speaks to her inability to apologize like an adult. Asking her why she'd bake things for someone she referred to the way she did you is just demeaning. ( You repeated her slurs--please don't ever do that again unless you are in court suing someone for it).
I don't know why she'd know you are dating, let alone the woman's age. I don't know why she'd have the hypocritical gall to comment about it, or why someone would think you'd want to hear it, or why you'd allow them to call this to your attention.
Only you can answer this^^^...
If detaching is still so complicated, then I suggest you tell her, and people who want to share her opinion with you, that you are "Not inviting comment" on that AND OR from her on anything not related to your sons....period.
Remember that thing called Detachment?
It's still your challenge.
That's the not so good news.
But I'm glad you are moving forward in your life. Very glad. You are beginning to see the upsides of your own life and being in charge of your own happiness...
and you are also seeing the downsides of your present wife and how NOT having her batchit crazy nastyass in your face, is a good thing.
Once upon a time you were married to someone else.
She went missing over a year ago. No signs of her being found so she may NEVER be found.
If she is found, she may not return to you anyhow.
You can savor and treasure those memories of the woman who once was,
in a good, happy albeit bittersweet way. Yes it's bitter but it was still sweet.
But accept that she IS missing and has been for awhile. As she has become now, it's a lot better that she's gone.
Accept that. Embrace it. Embrace your freedom to Keep going forward.
Care for your sons and show them that sanity is retainable.
Enjoy your life. I'm telling you, Life is short.
Don't let her steal anymore of yours or your sons, than she already has.
((( )))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
