I can really relate to your sitch! My 'H' said pretty much the same things to me less than a week ago. We're not rebuilding, though. He's taking time to work on his changes. I think your H should do the same. Mine is a cake eater as well, and boy has that been confusing and so hard to to deal with.
Reading your threads made me look at my sitch in a new light. I can see the manipulation so much easier when it's not my situation I'm looking at.
My advice to you is to really take it slow. I'd still go dark, honestly. Rushing back into this often destroys what progress had been made. Give him time to MISS you and to pursue you!
M & H 25 T 9 D 7 S 4 Bomb 11/11 Confused about feelings for me. Bomb 12/11 ILYBNILWY, moved out 2-1-12 We're exclusive & dating each other. 3-4-12 H moved back in. 3-31-12 I deserve better. I'm done
