As time approches for my lease to end, I can not imagine myself moving back there at all. It has been almost 4 months since I moved out and I just feel like I am ready to move on ever further. I thought that the separation would make me feel differently but to honest, while I have been in own apartment, I have been happier. I think we get along well and I want that to continue so much. I think we can be great parents to our S and still remain good friends. I just do not want to be in the marriage anymore and I think we both need to be able to move on. I know you say you do not want to but we have to.
You are fantastic. You are truly the man now I wish you were before I walled myself off. We all make mistakes, I made a huge one by not expressing my feelings years ago when I started to feel different. I just didn't want to admit the failure of not making things work and despite what you may think...I tried vert hard to ignore the bad stuff that was going on with us even though I have now forgiven you for that. I just cannot ignore how I fell now even though I love you so much as friend it's just not enough for a marriage to work for me.
It's not fair to you to love me and for me not to return the same feeling. You are great to me and I cannot thank you enough for putting up with all that you have through this time of change and uncertainty. I just know you need and deserve way more than me. I know I said this before and I have tried to make myself change how I feel but I just cannot. I can't keep pretending or thinking im going to change. It's not fair to any of us especially S.
I do want you to be happy so much and I do want you to move on. I wish things could have been different I really do for all of us but it is how it is and we have to move forward for all of us.
I think we can move forward with a dissolution and agree on things. I really do want to still be able to do things together but I can't keep from feeling like we are going to change as we and I love our relationship. I am so affraid if there is not a chance of getting back together then you will not want to be nice to me anymore. I think that would be wrong because I know we care about each other and to be any different with each other would not be in our character.
It's hard for me to say stuff like this and I am sure you know that. I don't want to lead you on. Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead (the line from that song is so true) and I feel like I am hurting you. In fact I know I do. I was hurt for years but played it off like all was ok but now I feel like I am hurting you and I hate how it make me feel. I want you to be happy again!!!!! And I want to be happy again. I will help you with whatever you need and will always be here for you no matter what!!!! I hope when we talk we can figure out when we can get this process started and remain great friends.
ANYONE HAVE ANY THOUHGTS AS WHAT I SHOULD DO? OR IS IT TOO LATE LIKE I BELIEVE IT IS?
