Never thought I'd be here........part 8

[purgatory]

You know, it kind of feels like W is the girl I have a massive crush on and am afraid to talk to or approach. Remember that feeling?? Butterflys in stomach....tripping over tongue....wanting to say the "right" things. It's like I'm 17 again or something and hoping the girl I like "likes" me, too. Always wanting to look your best around her, appear "cool" when really you are freaking out inside. If I knew this would work out in the end, I think I would like this feeling. Sadly, right now it makes me more anxious than anything else.Crimson

I've felt the exact same way! It was hard enough to do when I *was* 17, I never thought I would have to re-live all those butterflies again! But the thing that helps me is: remembering how I acted around my crush at 17- I didn't follow like a puppy or always happen to 'bump into' them around school... I paid attention to their likes/dislikes, I made sure that I was available when/if they wanted to talk or hang out, I still had a life with my other friends... I tried to become the buddy that they always turned to (even though I had other intentions) and the more they confided and trusted me, the more the chose to hang out with *me* and then they started to have *those* feelings for me.

DB principles seem to have a lot in common with what we did at 17 to get the girl/guy... we just have a hard time backing off to become the 'friend' again because we were so close to this person, we almost don't know how to be just a friend. It's crazy to think about this: I waited almost 11 months for my crush to come around... why can't I have the same patience for my H??

You'll do great at the MC! Labug had some good suggestions: to identify what your physical reaction is to stress/anger- for me, I purse my lips until they are almost gone and I sit on my hands (don't know why), my heart starts racing with adrenaline, and I can't hide that because of my heart monitor... so it's almost impossible to hide things from him. My IC told me that if you can identify your physical reactions to certain emotions, you can address that emotion more effectively and process it quicker and sometimes your body will tell you your emotions before your brain even recognizes them.

good luck!!