you have some very good contributors posting with you. i'll do my best to uphold their standards!
going back a few days. yes, 1% becomes 2% becomes 3% and etc. and just in the days since then (last friday) i see more and more tangible examples of progress and successful incorporation of DB philosophy and strategies. and i do agree that reading and re-reading DR until it becomes absolute second nature is very wise.
but also consider this. you are a quick study as they say. and don't judge yourself too much when you don't apply the DB strategy in the way you like. you are training yourself and this takes time. you are progressing and succeeding!
i challenge you to go back over your posts since i last posted on friday and see how many references you made to acting differently than you would have in the past. then let's compare lists. i'd like to comment on one of those. your H called you in to watch something with him. you went in, you shared, you laughed and then you left. utterly brilliant, my dear, utterly brilliant!
i tend to agree with the poster who thinks this shows he is in a state of confusion or mixed feelings. if that's true, it means you are in the mix - more so than in situations where there are no such displays of mixed feelings. if he's in the bathroom crying about what's happening in his life and marriage, this may show he is feeling guilty (as well as potentially thrilled by OW). if so, it's so smart to let him ruminate with his own mixed feelings rather than either over-pursuing him and/or scolding and attacking him. just be the kind of person that no one in their right might would feel entitled to betray.
