Yes I'm formerly Danz. I'm 37 and my W is 40 we have been married 11 years and together 16.
She said I use to complain about her spending, presure her to have sex (which she states she has zero desire to do) whatever she did she stated I told her she never did it right so to say. She stated she had been up happy for years and had been faking our M for the past few years. I had no clue she felt this way cause she kept it to herself. (how can someone change when they don't know the other one is unhappy?) She just meet her father for the first time 4 years ago. Which I thought at the time was great now I think it has triggered something in her childhood to start her crazy behavior of MLC. She has all the symptons of a MLC always concerned about her looks, lost weight, hanging out with co-worker girls 10 years younger that all have recently divorced and Im sure pumping her head to leave, wants a convertable.
Once I read Michelle's book I realized some of the mistakes I made in the relationship and decided to do a 180 not complaining about spending, not complaining about anything for that matter, not asking for sex, I realized life is too short and to let the small things in life go. I started telling her how beautiful she was each and every day. I was even texting her this while separated cause I vowed to myself I would do so. (Of course the text has of yesterday when bomb #2 was dropped has stopped as painfull as is it I must do the last resort technic. I know my chances are slim and none cause she wants a dissolution which is a exprees D so I have between 40 & 90 days top to get through to her. Her living separatly [censored] but not even getting a fair shake at a second chance and lossing her for good [censored] even worse.
She did say she noticed to changes and I'm now everything she ever wanted me to me but it's too late. She says she forgives me (but does put of forgiving mean to forget and let it go?) She says she is SORRY she doesn't want the marriage anyone and it's not fair to me or our son to keep living separate lives with false hopes to him and I.
Like I said I feel it's too late & I know at some point she will regret going through with a D. She has now brought out the best in me and will not get to experence the end result. It's a DAMM shame.
Does any one have any thoughts other than just going dark and not being for her during this time?
