Advice Need.....What Should I do?

[25yearsmlc]

Well my W dropped bomb #2 on me yesterday. She stated she wanted to come over and talk which made me nervous cause I had a feeling where this was headed. After an hour of small talk she tells me she wants a dissolution ASAP! Of course my heart just sank. She said she noticed all the changes in me and I'm now the person she always wanted me to be


Did she literally say that? IF SO, no matter what else she says, THIS ^^^^ IS great news. Keep up the changes. They are key.


but it's too late. I said if you noticed the changes why the rush on the dissolution? She said she just doesn't feel comfortable going out knowing what's she's doing. Basically I take it as she has found someone else and doesn't have the heart to tell me or she wants to see what's out their.


Okay so she wants to see if the grass is greener AND IF YOUR CHANGES ARE REAL and lasting, or merely tactics to get her back. Time will tell.


She said she wants us to remain good friends? (Pretty tuff to do at this point) Dissolutions here in my state can take between 30 & 90 days. Does anyone think there is much of a chance or much hope with her not going through with this?

yes. And even if she did go through with it, I have 2 family members who divorced and remarried a few years later. They all changed a lot, for the better, in the time apart.

Remarrying your ex happens in about 15% in this nation. Or so I read a few years back.

Does anyone have any ideas as to what I can do to delay or prevent this or just get her to open up her eyes to see whats right here in front of her?


Legal issues-see a L about delaying it.

Otherwise, it's all about you and
[b]
consistent change + sufficient time = changes she can believe in.[/b]

How long have you truly been detached and DBing consistently?

Don't let the piece of paper be the death knell for anything if you don't want it to be.


I have eaten the biggest piece of humble pie a person could ever swallow. (Which may have been needed) I went from having it all a awesome loving family a nice house good credit to losing it all in a matter of months.

The hardest part to swallow is I put so much effort in DB and she never even gave me a chance. She finally brought out the best man in me that I had to offer her and she will never even reep the benefits. Sad Sad day. Do I have a chance?

if that's really honestly true, then of course it matters. And she'll look over her shoulder when she thinks you are now the "finished product great h" and she got the "practice version" of you,

only to have some OW get the benefit of her work???

Might not hurt for you to have some mystery going there...

Most women would look back and have big second thoughts

IF they believed their h's had finally changed and IF their h's were good fathers to their children.

No woman is unmoved by that. Period.