Cat you are asking me to look at my upbringing which I have only glanced over and put away. But yes the people who should have loved me unconditionally did not or did not know how. I never talked about it since my experience was different from my siblings. But they stunk at parenting and they were lousy spouses to each other. We moved alot and they fought constantly. They were to busy making eachother miserable to pay attention to us. I kind of raised myself. Left when I was 18 and never dealt with stuff. Didn't think I needed.
Yes they rejected me and constantly criticized me and put me down. So I guess that is where I learned this. I too feel unloved when I don't get attention. I remember Sandi2 asking early on how I maintain Rs? I really never thought of but now that I have. I can say that I never had. Only long term R with anyone other than my siblings has been my W.
So I guess I have a lifetime of work ahead just know that I am game.
I will answer your 3 questions when I can think better.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”