you are just realizing what every child realizes (no offense meant) which is that when you choose "A", you don't get "B"...
If you order a cheeseburger you don't get the chicken.
It's as if you feel someone is holding a gun to your head when in reality, you just want a cheeseburger AND the chicken. You sense loss by choosing.
No choice is free, but you are free to choose.
These are trade offs.
People are rarely truly stuck or trapped as you imply.
Sure, there are SOME -like the ones in refugee camps in Pakistan or Africa. Their alternative was death to drought or the Taliban.
What are your REAL alternatives? AND...don't forget...
what are the actual downsides to your family paying you under the table?
um, jail comes to mind. Or more realistically, tax liens on property.
WE, as in my h and I, did not make a quarterly payment in 2009. How?
to my utter shock, we forgot--yes we forgot--BECAUSE that quarter was when my dying mother in law was with us and her cancer had gone to her brain and she was extremely labor intensive to care for. Literally 24/7.
So the tax payment fell through the cracks or I thought h had filed it or gotten an extention, blah blah blah. Neither the IRS nor California told us til recently, so penalties, interest and fees were ALL added and a lien was put on the house and it has been a big fat drag on us financially..
Just got the lien removed & appeal for penalties was granted but still a big Nightmare.. And that's for an accidental underpayment w/sympathetic circumstances.
So be careful about underestimating the risk there.
2 questions--
How does your w feel about your family's ways?
Is the reason you lived away in California in the first place, partly b/c of them?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
