your replies to me were honest and I appreciate that. But do you see that you are still
in the moment, reacting the way you did before? Why would your wife think you have changed
IF
when things get tough, you revert?
Your friends notice the changes b/c they are not in that trench with you.
Knowing what NOT to do, is Not the same as Knowing WHAT TO DO...
you need positive role models or some sort of PLAN to follow for this.
See if an AA group or sponsor can provide that. Look for someone with years of sobriety and a working m.
My h's bf had a dad who was a lousy h and father, He took his own life after his 3rd w left him
H's bf is the best h and dad I know. Great role model too. So I asked him how HE became such a good h and dad, given his role model sukked so badly.
BF said "I knew what NOT to do from my dad. But I didn't know what TO DO b/c I had never seen it
and when things were hard for us, I would simply TRY to avoid doing the bad stuff my dad had done, but I had nothing to replace it with...
until
I realized my own FIL was a great role model for me. And so I look to him to fill that void. And I know men at work who help me lead there..."
food for thought. Know any good h's? What are they like? Know any good dads?
And how about the ones who are divorced but not furious??
reach out, good men exist. Many are right here on this site.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
