Wife Left Part 3

[CO1978]

"angry"? You just said you were "prepared" for it.

Or hurt, disappointed or frustrated? It's sort of important b/c anger has been a bigger issue for you than you are recalling atm.

Why the Anger?

How did "blowing her off" look, work, or show change in YOU?

She made the comment that she knew I was angry after the session. She applogized to me, and I told her it wasn't her fault, and I shouldn't have acted that way, I just needed time to get it out of my system. I think I used anger so I wouldn't cry anymore. I was hurting really bad, and no matter how prepared I was for it, it hurt.

You are the first man to say this^^^ that I know of. Geez,

I Can't decide if it smacks of more control on your end,

OR
angry spite,

OR
jealousy, the most...or all three.

Not helping you. NOT Keeping the Road Home, Paved & Smooth...just punishing her.

Again it was in the moment. If I could take that back I would too. I won't bring that up again. I think the anger put me into punish mode.

"Well, what's the truth^^^ here?

Was it to "Teach her a lesson" (& punish her), have less pain for you, OR to help S? How does it help S if you see him less?

Wasn't one of the things she commented on favorably, was that you are now a better dad? Does this undermine that perception?

I think there are a lot of factors in this.
(1) W expressed not liking to get up early in the morning to come to house, and it was "killing her"
(2) Less confusing for S
(3) Less pain for me, I'll be honost, its not the primary reason, but it is a reason.


Thanks for the 2x4, I did need it.

I guess the feeling of being "used" is coming from her statements of having no feelings for me what-so-ever, yet she feels she can still vent to me.

I do know the serenity prayer and do say it a lot.

Instead of our morning exchanges we will have some night exchanges, where she will drop him off before she goes into work and pick him up same night.

I will continue to let her vent and be a friend to her, and stop letting anger cloud my judgement and not take it personally.

I will let her vent and expect nothing, because that is what kind of person I want to be.

Heck I let inmates vent to me all day at work, its kind of funny now that I think about feeling used because my W wants to vent.