Still alone, but no longer confused...

[purgatory]

DB or not, I think you handled that as best you could. In regards to ML, only you can decide if that was wrong or not, don't beat yourself up too much.

Your H seems to be on the fence and changes his side from moment to moment. The fact that he's asking you 'what's there to save' shows that he's been thinking about it even when he's not around you....

Don't try to stop him from moving out, it will be the only way he gets the true reality of his choices. I tried to tell my H that he's a 'visitor' and needs to notify me when he plans on coming to visit the kids, but I have not been good about enforcing that boundary... I hope you can stick to it (if that's what makes you most comfortable.) Remember one of the main rules of DB is to use them as a guideline, but DO what works best for your sitch.

Your H and mine should get together- the similarities are creepy:
*dropped the bomb day after Thanks.
*'wants' to move out, but can't completely do it
*starting to question things (mine hasn't been as bold as yours, but he's questioning my 'new self'- this weekend (same as yours)

Keep up your goals, and staying detached (or trying to). It's obviously keeping him guessing his decision.... Good job!!