My stbx has been horribly cruel and mean during this seperation. Giving mixed signals like you wouldn't believe. He still wanted a sex life with me after he left, yet in the same breath and filed for divorce behind my back, and didn't even tell me. He acted like nothing was wrong and then the papers were served. I called him on it, and his excuse " well you were my first everything. I don't know how to break up with someone".
Is this his dependency need followed by his denying his dependency perhaps? I am not always sure that my W is deliberately cruel but certainly their self-obsession and lack of empathy means they do not realize how cruel these 'mixed signals/sucking you in and then spitting you out' tactics are.
Here are some quotes on leaving a PA partner:
Quote:
Even when it looks like as if you don’t merit your partner’s complete attention and devotion ever, you don’t know how deep can be his need for attachment in this relationship. Without you, the PA person will have a very hard time balancing his emotions, because he needs to do it through doing passive aggressions to anybody, now it happens to be you. If you leave, this precarious balance gets disrupted and he will need to recover.
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This is the reason, his emotional imbalance, which can make the break up very complicated, noisy and dramatic at the last moment,just when you are ready to go. You can never underestimate the emotional manipulation you will get if and when you announce your decision to split.
