feeling like giving up.....former DBing against OW

[imthemom]

Long weekend of dealing with H and his manipulations....

after all the threats H made to L about 50/50 and not being able to support himself if he had to pay what was being asked of him H resorted to threatening to get his own L and "dragging this out as long as possible and then the classic "well i guess ill have to quit my job and move back to the mid west" (were all his family is)....after speaking to my L Friday evening and thinking about it all weekend I sent my L an offer for him that would lower my support (not my sons support...he seems to be having the most problem with giving ME any money) by some but would keep the rest of our agreement which includes him helping me to get a new vehicle (mine is on its last leg and still has payments,while we paid his off) He had threatened to pull that offer off the table. It came down to the fact that I cannot afford to go to court and fight him, I have no more money to keep paying my L. But I did tell her that this was it..if he did not except this offer then I guess we go to court. She seems to think theres a chance the courts would make him pay the rest of my L fees if that happened. I am trying to avoid dragging my S14 threw a nasty court fight and traumatizing him more then he is now.

H called him (s14) and wanted him to come over for the weekend and S14 said he didnt want to. I tried to talk to him about it, he hadnt seen his dad in 2 weeks and I hate to see that go that way but he said "when Im over there, I know dad is there but its like hes not"...they dont really do anything and S14 has said before that his dad doesnt talk to him. H never has been one for communication but I cant believe he would let his relationship with S14 go like this...we have talked about it in the past and H says he knows he needs to fix it but then does nothing about it so I guess theres nothing I can do about it. there relationship is between them and theres not a lot I can do about it.
I dont understand how it got to this point....I hate it. Last night S14 said he feels like His whole family was on a train and everyone jumped off but us. He misses his older bros, and feels like its just he and I now...made me so sad. Then he said when Me and his dad are like this (meaning not talking to each other) he feels like he is going to be on that train all alone. that broke my heart...I reassured him that I was not going anywere and neither was his Dad and that when things calmed down I know it will get better. there are just a lot of hurt feelings and things are still fresh and that eventually there will come a time that everyone can be happy with the sitch again. His older bro S28, is so angry with H that he wont even speak of him right now...this whole thing has cause a lot of pain. I just want it to be over so everyone can start to heal. that is why I made the offer....its the quickest way to end this and get on with our lives.
Let me make it clear that S14 knows nothing about any of this still....not the ow, not the fact that H is fighting the support agreement and certainly not the fact that he is threatening 50/50..I keep that far from him. He just knows that for awhile H was coming around again and being really nice and now hes not.

The whole thing has gotten realy ugly....that is surprising to me not sure why, but I never figured H to be this kind of person. eyes wide open now...and its just not pretty.

just want it to be over