That morning I got my H to come and say Hi to the lady he works with. I think might have really made him think about the long term part that people will know about our personal lives and see he/we aren't perfect.
Wen,
Please try not to focus on this. While your H may realize that there are going to be ramifications to his actions, please don't think they will make much of a difference.
My STBX, didn't tell anyone for a very long time. We played the "all is nice" game for years with his family and our friends. Well, he did. I told whoever I wanted to. I didn't make him out to be bad or me, just that things weren't working out. We did get along, for appearances sake for a while. Then we began to be able to get along for real in a very strange sort of way.
He still wants to be friends, and we are as much as I can stand. Although I did ask my BF last night when I get to stop being the "better" person when I received a very nonsensical text...
Remember there is no logic to any of this and TBH, you really don't want those things, other people's opinions, the kids, any of it, to be the reason he decides to work on the marriage.
For any reconciliation to really work, you want it to be for the M and the M only.
Work on detatchment, take time to yourself. Answers come when you need them or are ready for them...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
