Wow, this just keeps getting more informative. I appreciate this. I've lived with this PA all my marriage. I will still have to deal with it even after divorce do to the children. Knowledge is power, and it helps keep my sanity in this case.
"I think the phrase 'don't confuse me with facts my mind is made up' is very apt. Other times of course they will deliberately do the wrong thing just to stick it to you, and then feign ignorance/surprise but generally no remorse."
^^^^^^This is classic PA and crazy making. My stbx has been horribly cruel and mean during this seperation. Giving mixed signals like you wouldn't believe. He still wanted a sex life with me after he left, yet in the same breath and filed for divorce behind my back, and didn't even tell me. He acted like nothing was wrong and then the papers were served. I called him on it, and his excuse " well you were my first everything. I don't know how to break up with someone".
I find my PA/ stbx considers everything a competition, and he always must win! He's been a gaming addict for 8 years now. I sometimes feel like he treats life like the game. Only to score and aquire the highest level of all, but only in what he wants and at the cost of everyone around him. If one stands up to him, he must destroy. I think part of the reason he gets so angry at me, is that he can't destroy me like a video game character. I represent reality.
I agree that these people are just having huge adult tantrums. I've felt that my stbx has the emotional maturity of a 9 year old, but with the smarts of a teenage bully.
