I think today I had my best day of this year (and I will venture to say also of last year.)
- Kids were with H, so I was able to sleep in until 8. Wohoo!
- Researched support groups for verbal abuse online. That was not so successful, BUT - I got fired up! Having someone tell me I cannot do something, gets me going.
- Had an amazing brunch at one of my favorite french cafe's and read this amazing book I just bought on how to understand and help your children go thru a S or D. (I read for 2 hrs straight!) I cried, I got inspired and fired up. I got new strength and tools to help my struggling kids. I love them so much!
- Weather was amazing - almost 80 at the beach and amazingly clear, so I went for a 1-hr. walk on the strand. (Sorry to everyone who is dealing with snow or bad weather in their neck of the woods...)
- My mom called. I usually ignore her calls (we have a very dysfunctional R. Long story, but suffice to say that it has been a source of a lot of my anger and issues.) Today, I took the call. She wanted to recommend a movie and then tried to get me to go see it today at all costs. I listened and made sure to be pleasant and actually thanked her for the recommend. Wished her a good day. No argument with her, wohoo!
- Texted my childhood friends (they live in my home country and we just started a texting group.) I have been making an effort to keep in touch with them and initiating contact and conversations. A 180 for me...
- Called my dad to say hi. He had gone to the movies (to the the movie that my mom insisted he saw.) I joked and told him next time he should invite me. Another 180 - I hardly ever call him just to talk to him or do things one on one with my dad. We made plans to go to the movies together this week.
- Went for 30 min. sunset jog at the beach. It was an AMAZING sunset due to the clear day.
- I listened to my ipod during my run. I had not been able to listen to music since H left. I LOVE music and it has always touched me deeply and I just couldn't get to listen to ANY kind of music w/o breaking down.
Tonight, I listened to all kinds - inspiring, sad, tranquil, anything that came on at random. I cried while I ran, but there was something between the sunset, exercising and the music that I felt GREAT!
I have started to get this feeling these past few weeks, but today, even for that short period of time, I had the CERTAINTY that I WILL BE OK WITH OR WITHOUT H. And I cannot describe the feeling... I am sure that I will probably not feel this way all the time, but I know the process had started for me and it is happening.
- Went to get dinner at a cafe with my computer, logged on and read online.
- Came home to wait for kids and H. Put kids to bed and sang to them and cuddled with each girl for 20 minutes and told them how much I loved them.
- Had a conversation with H that could have easily escalated into a bad argument. I diffused it many times. I remained calm. I listened and validated. I felt GOOD! Won't go into it in this post, cause this is not about him
- And finally, came to the boards to show support for a few in need and give back some of all the amazing help I have received.
How is that for a day???
Me & H: 44 D7, D6, S3 Together: 20y, M: 17y EA: 11/13/10, Sep: 12/23/10 EA becomes PA: Spring 2011 H filed for D: 09/06/12 D Negotiating began 2/15 OW seemingly gone on 3/15 Still negotiating D
