I've thought a little deeper, and I'm not giving the key back (at least not until she decides to come home, if she ever does), I will continue to wear my wedding band, because I am still married, and I took those vows seriously. Although I have to say it's been nearly four months since I last had relations (trying to keep this g-rated) with my wife, and the thought of at least going out with other women is tempting--I know this is flirting with adultery, but I don't use drugs or alcohol anymore, so I know I wouldn't put myself in the sort of situation where I could slip up. The truth is, I don't want to cheat on my wife--so I guess I should just man-up and work on myself. Besides, going out with other women right now is just going to serve to puff up my ego, and distract me from my goal which is to create positive change in my life, and if my wife comes back to me, that will be icing on the cake.
Also, I'm not going to call her for at least a week. If she calls me, she'll get my voicemail. I won't reply to her unless it has something to do with our d.
As for GAL and 180....
I guess I really need to get back on the GAL train. I would like to find better work, so I've been looking, but I must say that looking for work is no fun when your marraige is going great, let alone in a separation.
Earlier, I had been doing more exercise and had been staying more active. I guess I could start focusing on that again. It may sound nerdy, but I started going to a chess club at my local library.
I have been reading a lot. I don't like television, so I don't watch that. But I could probably try to rent some uplifting, funny movies.
I need to keep doing things with my friends--I may try to go skiing during the week--just to get out of the house. There's a lot I can do.
Kaffe, again, thanks for being there. It's good to know that i can reach out and get feedback so quickly.
Tonight I was fighting back the negative thoughts after my wife left, and I thought, "I feel like I wasted a lot of time and money on the DB thing." But then I realized that so much of what I've learned here, will help me in the second half of my current marriage, or will help me have a great second marriage. I've learned skills of how to more successfully be a better person, and ergo, a better husband. I'm still a good person.
I forgive my wife, I forgive everyone, and most importantly I forgive myself. We are forgiven.
I need to keep in touch with my family, and other friends too I guess, and perhaps find some more clubs to join. I used to do toastmasters a lot, which I really enjoyed. I'll have to look into that.
"Things are never bad; it's the way you think about them." -Epictetus
