I agree with Beatrice, the destruction goes far beyond the relationship of being husband and wife. Depending on how the LBS handled the mlc'r, so many other people/friends/family have been affected as well. [quote]
[quote] Posted by: beatrice I don't think the destruction depends on how the LBS handled the MLCer. That places a responsibility on the LBS which actually lies with the MLCer. They often treat their family and friends with total contempt and great unkindness. There is NOTHING that the LBS can do about that. We are already carrying a great burden, especially if we have children, being a single parent. I try to behave with kindness and dignity, but I am not responsible for the destruction which my xh caused.
beatrice, I brought this to my own thread, if you happen to stop by ok. So now I disagree with you. Remember each of our sitchs are different with many similarities. In my own, my H was usually good to my family, his family, friends, it was only me that he hated. In the beginning I did make that worse, I deepened his new hate for me by my actions. Had I learned quicker and sooner how to deal with mlc/mlc'r I would have had a lot less bumps that made my life go and down. That is why I say the LBS(me and likely others) could make the destruction worse, or not as worse. I carried a lot of the burden during H's mlc, and still do, along with much of the rest of life. I do think I had a lot of responsibility in fueling his mlc and his hatred to me. - - - - - -
H and I saw a couple today having M problems and currently separated. It was an internal head shaker for me when H nudged me and pointed to his ring finger, signaling me to notice they had both removed their wedding rings. H has never said a word to me about my wedding ring missing from my finger. As the world go round......
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
