All in all you do sound as if you are trying to wrap your brain around some crazy stuff and it does not make sense to you AND it hurts. I get that from your post and I feel for you. I spent A LOT of time trying to figure out my h or his choices for a few YEARS of my life...(never again-not b/c I don't care but b/c I have detached even while reconciled. IT's a lifestyle that protects our own happiness. Make sense?)
A part of me wishes I could get in your head while you are with your wife and stop you from spiralling...the whole negative projections, expecting the worst, etc.AND saying that's what you have gotten...it's not the "worst"...
The worst is her leaving you for OM, telling you she never loved you, son is not yours, she lies and says you beat her, others believe her, she files for divorce and wants it all and tells everyone you stank in bed too...
so no, she's not giving you the worst. See?
You have more hope than you can see right now. Your pain fogs it up. But it's there.
Stay the course.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
