Good on the end of snooping. It really doesn't help you or the sitch... at all... if something is going on, you will know... IMO, that stuff actually has a way of showing itself, even if we don't snoop...
Not funny so much, but at one point, my W pointed at herself and called herself a cold hearted be-otch as well... it was in reference to something else, but she was actually smiling at the idea...
Not a huge deal, but as the end of your #2216892 post above, your anger came through loud and clear. That is OK to vent your anger here, it is certainly one of the emotions you will have to go through. As you start your next post you indicate that you've been biting your tongue and that is good.
Be careful where you let your anger (and grief) out... and do your best not hold onto that stuff... you loved this woman once, and you likely weren't mistaken to do so... let it out... and let it go... this is a good place to do it, but after a while, it may start to get old and we will likely encourage and support you to work through it...
Your second post from today had a lot of detail... not a huge deal, but eventually the details won't have as much importance to you... that's generally a good indicator you've detached...
To help you with that, I won't dissect that post... I will just point out there was a lot of focus on her and a lot of words...
DB is really more about actions then words and focus on ourselves...
+ I did this... it felt great... my W noticed with praise... + I did that... it felt great... my W rolled her eyes and left the room... + I did that... it felt bad... my W cried... and then yelled at me...
Do... Monitor results... Adjust if and as necessary...
to work through it...
I will just point out there was a lot of focus on her and a lot of words...