I'm still a newbie myself, but our sitchs have some commonality. My advice (having made the mistake just last week)is to leave her be and detach. It is incredibly challenging to do this, however it is required for both the healing process for her and more importantly, for you to forgive yourself and start making head-way out of the emotional morasse.

I so need spell check...

Me: 44
Bomb: 11/27/11
Divorced:6/12
Life goes on: 6/13


Dogs still like bacon...a lot.