25- thank you so much for your insights and reminders to stay detached I felt really good about our talk in the truck- then as time when on, I started analyzing, critiquing, and getting negative again.... I should have left well enough alone!
Yes, GAL and 180's are helping my sitch, and helping me keep my sanity (which I think is the more valuable result of my efforts!)
What would be the best way to "thank him" for being my catalyst for change?? A letter? A blunt conversation? When is the best time to present this to him?? (I really hate having to question every move I make! But since I'm not completely detached, I know that I probably have emotional motivations, so I want to make sure I'm acting 'non-emotionally')
Another Update:
H and I were checking out something random on the computer, and he asked out of the blue: H: How are you handling everything?" M: What do you mean? H: Well, you put up a good front and seem as though you're doing much better with all of this. M: You've always told me that you don't like seeing me upset, or hearing about it because it makes you feel bad, so I'm just going to keep my mouth shut. (that was really NOT my best DB answer, but that's what came out of my mouth in the moment)
He didn't ask any more. I feel like today has been full of 'check point' questions.... odd timing since I'm leaving in 6 days. I really want to keep my head (and my words) focused on doing the best thing during (what seems to be) a crack in the sitch.
this day is becoming very stressful, but in a good/interesting way.
M-31, H-31 T-9, M-7 S-6, s-20mth sep 8/1/11 ILYNILWY 11/29/11 Creating separation papers. Discover H has feelings for BFF, she does too 1/11/12 H moves out 1.20.12
I felt really good about our talk in the truck- then as time when on, I started analyzing, critiquing, and getting negative again.... I should have left well enough alone!