you seem to think if you detach it means you are giving up. Not true.
OR that you must "move on" b/c it's "Futile to have hope"...
Moving on has nothing to do with losing hope.
You DO have to move on, regardless of what she says or does. Why?
B/c where you were, stank as a way of life.
You were depressed and hard to be around. You didn't like yourself either.
So sure, let go of ALL of that. Let that part of your old life die out...
As for the new you, remember to "do the math"...
consistent change + sufficient time = change SHE can believe in.
She may never believe you changed, but if you are consistent with it, w/time, she'll accept that. IF not, so what?
You can't control If, how or when she believes you are different.
But letting go of the illusion you ever had control is a start - that she probably WILL notice.
The only certainty is that YOU will notice b/c letting go is freeing and empowering to YOU...
She may say "too late" and she may believe that.
She does NOT Know right now, how she'll feel later. Only time tells us that.
Remember that note I sent your way about how the WAW feels if she's been mistreated?
(I think I sent it to you...did I??) How long it takes for the WAW to believe your changes MIGHT be real? A lot longer than you have given her...OMG you're so new to this...
IN any event, You still get to enjoy the new you and what your new life will bring.
I believe most WASs ponder the possibility that their LBS
MIGHT change later. The WASs typically complain "Oh, so NOW you are kind and loving"....b/c it bothers them that they got the crappy part of you and some OW gets the new improved you.
I suspect they'll always wonder "What IF I had given grump another chance? Could he have remained new & improved for ME?"
She will probably tell herself "No, he would not do that for ME. He'd revert..."
How can YOU change that perception?
IF YOU CAN, it's only by "doing the math"^^^^...so do it.
Finally, work on not manipulating or worrying so much about the outcome. Easier said than done but once you achieve this, your life and happiness will be so enhanced. Be the best man you can be, and leave the results up to God.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
