Didn't have a chance to address the post above, last night.
First, I thought your comment about what your counselor said, was interesting. Someone else here had just mentioned their counselor said the same thing. And in my opinion... it is absolutely correct. For a number of reasons. But mostly, if you don't follow through on an ultimatum... what's the point... "our word" becomes empty...
Some of the interactions that we have with our spouses may need their interpretations re-framed. Yes, there is pursuing... and then... there are "these things are done for the kids" or "I would do this for any friend" type of things.
The idea is, everything you do should be focused first on you, and second on your kids... no other reason or focus necessary.
You are the only one who can say if what you did was intended to be pursuing. Based on how you wrote it, it was. Had you indicated that the kids were all out of sorts for the change in routine, you made suggestions to help the kids be comfortable... that would have not been pursuing... Your true intentions play a huge role in all of this.
Changing your words will not change your intentions. Change your intentions and your words will change. And so will your actions. And so will your M...
