New trying to DB-Help!

[jlove]

Thanks KD. Yes, I've read DB and got DR yesterday. I just found out about DB and this site a week ago, as I thought we were on the path to reconciliation until I found them together in bar last Sat night. Maybe we sort of were, but that started the EA all over. I really do think the OM is going thru D and his W had a PA, because my wife is best friends with many of their mutual close friends. It's a mess and I wish she'd quit that job to detach. She's looking, so maybe hope there, but I'm trying not to hope for much at this time after all the mixed messages and dissapointment.

She wants to tell D (14) about our S, should I let her? Then, my D will be very mad at her for cheating on me and I may have an ally in trying to talk sense into her? I don't want to get kids, family or anyone else involved, but am grasping and don't want to hurt kids. I don't think she realized that they will take my side over not trying to stay and reconcile.

I am an alcoholic who has been sober 3 months since all this happened and I am at least 50% responsible for all that has happened (more on this later), but I want to work to pick up pieces. I cannot talk and hang out with friends now, because they are all heavy drinkers and I'm avoiding temptation and working out obcessively right now. All for now, thanks for all the help!