It is reasonable that you may have SOME doubt and will obsess over this and possibly even snoop. Do your best not to.
Yeah, kinda figured this out, a couple of weeks ago when the paranoia kicked back in I hacked her computer again while the house was empty and she was at work, didn't find anything but I don't think I was ever going to as she knows I can do that now and would contact him using her phone and some kind of IM if she was going to. I'm trying to put it out of my mind as I can't control it and she can't see him due to having to look after the kids all the time.
Originally Posted By: Kaffe Diem
Understand, this could first come out as anger. She might give you the scripts of "you are only doing this because I was leaving you"
Already had that for wanting to talk about her when she said that she thinks I didn't understand her and I was trying to get her to talk and she said " You haven't been interested in the last 18 years, why bother now"
I just can't believe what a cold heartless bitch (her words!) she has become, while we've drifted apart she has NEVER bought it up, NEVER said lets go to marriage counselling, NEVER sat down and said we need to talk, NEVER bought a book on relationships. We haven't physically fought or called each other derogatory names or argued in a shouting way, I've been nothing but loyal and faithful and honoured my marriage vows.
Why do I have to deal with all this crap when shes 50% responsible for the marriage too, shes the one that got to close to someone else and shes the one behaving like this and putting our family in jeopardy and causing untold stress on me and 3 children (and I guess herself too).
She wants independence, but she doesn't see that while I'm not living at home she is less independent then she was before. If we do divorce she is financially screwed and can't afford to live on her own with 3 kids, whereas I'm sorted with a house and a life and a alright paying job.
I've said before I'm not a patient man and I can see that I will be alright and I could quite easily go and have a MLC of my own right now if she keeps pushing me away and not really trying for our R. In my mind I've given her 6 months (won't tell her this so as not to pressure her) but I'm struggling after only 1 month not to say thats it!
